Messy Move: Preparing to Move to Africa with Kids

As we prepare to move our family to the Democratic Republic of the Congo, it feels like a constant state of chaos has become our family’s new normal. Our apartment is covered in packing boxes, we’ve unearthed toys that have been hidden for months, and we have a Costco aisle’s worth of diapers in our hallway. I’m at the point in our packing where I don’t know where anything is (as a type A person this is extremely bothersome) and I’ve been wearing the same striped t-shirt for 3 days straight. 

Embracing the Mess

Packing for any move is hectic, but there’s a different level of chaos when the move is international and involves two young kids. Thinking back to when I was 22 and packing to move to Kenya as a Peace Corps volunteer, I had just one suitcase and one backpack for two years overseas. This move is absolutely not the same, we will have a mountain of checked luggage and 2500 lbs of consumables coming with us.

C sitting amongst our packing mess the day before our movers arrive 

As we sift through our belongings, I’m shocked at just how much kids’ stuff we own, even though we’ve only lived in this apartment for 8 months. It’s honestly overwhelming and I’m at the point of just wanting to throw it all away. Preparing for this move has me questioning a lot of my life choices. What’s the point of so many toys when our kids like to just play with the boxes? Why do I own so many striped t- shirts? Why are we moving to the DRC?!

Baby D thrilled with himself for knocking over a box of disposable breast pads after I just picked them all up. Packing with a baby takes 10x longer than planned. 

Adjusting to the Unknown

The past few weeks have been tough. There’s a lot of planning, packing, purging, and organizing involved in moving overseas. I’ve been so focused on the logistics of moving that I haven’t had too much time to process the emotional side of such a big move; it’s all been hitting me lately that we really are moving to the DRC. I try to remind myself that embracing the unknown and stepping out of our comfort zone is part of what drew us to the Foreign Service life, but in this moment, it all seems ridiculously overwhelming and very stressful. 

Our 5-year-old, C, is adjusting to the idea of moving and is most sad about leaving behind friends ( and also about not trading Pokémon cards at school). He’s connected quickly with kids at his newest school and it breaks my heart a little to uproot him again. There’s really no way to prepare him for what Kinshasa will be like- everything will be new to us- the language, the smells, the sounds, the grocery stores. I have to remind myself that he’s resilient and an excellent traveler, but it doesn’t make saying goodbye (again) any easier. 

Our baby, D, has no idea what’s coming, but happily crawls through the packing mess, blissfully unaware of our big move. For the kids, I try to keep our days as routine as possible. But if I’m honest, there are times when I’ve just sat down and cried. This move is stressful and emotion filled- we’ll be so far away from family, friends and the relative ease of life in the states. In the past months, I’ve grown to appreciate the area we live in, especially all of the kid -friendly activities, walkability, beautiful playgrounds, easy public transport, and Smithsonian museums. It sort of feels like every time we get settled somewhere it’s time to move again, perhaps this is just life in the Foreign Service…. sigh.

Final Thoughts: Moving to Africa with Kids

As we step into this next chapter, I’m feeling so many things- nervousness, apprehension, overwhelm and maybe, just maybe, a small glimmer of excitement about living somewhere new. That tiny glimmer is excitement about learning a different language, trying new-to-us foods, exploring places many Americans have never visited, learning about the Congolese culture and meeting new people. I truly hope that glimmer gets bigger as time goes on, because right now it’s clouded by the messiness of moving and haziness of infant induced sleep deprivation. To anyone else in the middle of a move, whether across town or across continents — I see you. It’s a wild ride, but together, we’ll lean into the chaos and make it through right?